


like i don't even know who you are

by nightwalker



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Relationship Problems, There are shenanigans and they are entirely on the author's part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-08-29 07:31:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16739728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightwalker/pseuds/nightwalker
Summary: The divorce papers were just as unsigned as they had been an hour ago.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Divorce AU previously posted on my Tumblr - 100% shenanigans and angst with some smut at the end.

The divorce papers were just as unsigned as they had been an hour ago.

Tony rubbed a hand over his mouth, tasting the ghost of 18-year-old Chivas Regal. He hadn’t had a sip in ten years now but it came back to him when he was particularly tired, or under stress, and right now he could taste every note of stonefruit and vanilla. He resisted the urge to swallow and didn’t let himself think about it too much. It would be too easy make a bottle appear, and if there was ever a night he’d break, this would be it.

Steve would be there any minute for the rest of his things, and he would be expecting Tony to hand over the signed forms, his signature next to Steve’s on the forms that said they wanted to end their marriage by mutual consent. 

Mutual consent. Tony felt his mouth curl in an ugly smile. Mutual his ass. He hadn’t consented to a divorce - that had been Steve’s idea. It’ll be easier this way, he’d said and Tony had said nothing, taking the manila envelope Steve held out. Easier than what, Tony hadn’t asked, because he knew that what Steve meant was that it would be faster and Steve wanted done with him as soon as possible.

Tony had messed that up for him, though. He’d had the papers for weeks now, sitting on the desk in his study. He’d told Steve the lawyers were looking it all over - and Steve had had the nerve to look offended, though he’d held his tongue and let it drop - but that excuse had worn through and now there was nothing to it but the simple fact that the papers weren’t signed because Tony hadn’t signed them. Because Tony didn’t want to sign them.

Tony hadn’t wanted any of this. He hadn’t wanted the sudden distance between them, or the simmering tension that had turned into constant fighting. He hadn’t wanted Steve to sleep in the guest room. He hadn’t wanted to wake up one day to the knowledge that the man he loved more than his own life didn’t want him anymore.

But what Tony wanted had mattered very little in his life. He wasn’t sure why he’d ever thought things with Steve would be different.

His phone vibrated on the coffee table, the screen lit up with a text alert from Happy, letting him know that Steve was on his way up.

Tony left the papers where they were and closed the study door behind him as he went to answer the door.

Steve looked good. But then, Tony wasn’t sure there had ever been a time when Steve didn’t look good to him.

“The papers aren’t ready,” he said instead of ‘hello’.

Steve rolled with it. “That’s fine. Did the lawyers have any concerns?”

“Nope.” The lawyers had said it was as fair as an unwanted divorce could possibly be. Steve wasn’t asking for anything he hadn’t come into the marriage with, wasn’t demanding Tony sell anything they’d bought together, wasn’t asking for Tony to return the engagement rings or any of the gifts Steve had given him over the years. He wasn’t asking for alimony or half of Tony’s fortune. He didn’t want a damn thing from Tony anymore. 

It would have hurt less if he had been unfair. 

“I left them in my desk,” he said, which was technically true. Wasn’t his fault if Steve thought he meant his desk at SI. “I’ll have Pepper overnight them first thing tomorrow.”

Pepper would make him sign them, then. He should have thought of that days ago.

“Thanks,” Steve said, a little hesitantly. What was left of his things were packed into boxes and stacked on a handcart just inside the front door. “You didn’t have to go to all that trouble.”

“It’s easier this way,” Tony said, his words sounding mocking to his own ears. 

Steve just offered him a tight smile. “I guess so.”

Tony had done it all the night before, waking up at three in the morning with the sick, heavy realization in his gut that he was going to have to stand there and watch Steve pack up the last of his things, pack away the last few signs of the life they’d led together. When he’d finished throwing up he’d gone on a tear, packing Steve’s things into boxes where he didn’t have to see them. Maybe it was easier doing it himself, Tony had no idea. But he’d had enough of Steve leaving and if there was nothing he could do to stop it, then at least he could keep it from dragging on any longer than it had to. Rip off the band-aid, pull the rotten tooth, yank out the knife.

Steve hauled the handcart out to the elevator while Tony waited in the doorway. He felt like he was supposed to be doing something, but he had no idea what. He’d had plenty of relationships end badly, but a divorce was a new one for him, so he just waited to see what Steve would do next. He’d been following the man’s lead for more than a decade, after all. 

Might as well follow him one last time.

Steve loaded the cart into the elevator, then turned back. His eyes caught Tony’s for a long moment and they just stood there until the weight of Steve’s eyes on him was too much and Tony had to look away. “If I forgot anything just let Happy know and we’ll figure out where it went to. I think I got everything though.” 

Steve smiled again and this time it wasn’t as tight, just a little rueful. “You’re pretty damned thorough when you work on a project. I’m sure you got it all.” 

He’d torn through the place three times, looking for any little thing Steve might consider his, and then going back to get all the things he couldn’t look at without thinking of Steve and packing all that too, regardless of whether it was his or not.

“Yeah, pretty sure,” Tony said. “You need help getting that downstairs?”

“No, I can manage.” Steve had that tight half-smile on his face again. “I-” He paused for a second, then shook his head a little. “I should be going. Thanks again.” He held out his hand.

Tony someone kept his face blank as he stepped out of the doorway and took Steve’s hand. It wasn’t a shake, so much as a clasp. Steve’s hand was warm and his grip strong. It was a pale fucking imitation to Steve’s embrace, but it would have to do. 

Steve’s hand tightened on his, almost painfully. “Is that - are you wearing my dogtags?”

Tony’s heart skipped a beat, then sank slowly into his stomach. “Yeah. Is that… Sorry, I didn’t even think about-” He curled the fingers of his free hand around the chain and pulled it out of his shirt. “You want them back.”

Steve didn’t answer him for a long moment, his eyes on the tags dangling from the end of the chain. Tony realized, a moment too late, that he’d put his wedding ring on the chain, the platinum band bright and shining against the stainless steel of the tags.

“No,” Steve said finally. He let go of Tony’s hand and took a step back. Then another one. “No. I don’t want them back.”


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is all MusicalLuna's fault.

“No,” Steve said finally. He let go of Tony’s hand and took a step back. Then another one. “No. I don’t want them back.”

“Oh.” Tony let the tags fall to lay against his chest. He’d worn them more often than not over the last five years since Steve had given them to him that he barely noticed their weight anymore. But now they were heavy, pressing against the arc reactor, pulling on the back of his neck. “Sorry.” It felt like a slap in the face, but he wasn’t sure why. _He doesn’t want anything from you anymore, not even the things that should have been his._

 _Tony_ should have been his, but Steve sure as hell didn’t want that, either.

He forced a smile on his face. “I should have remembered to pack them last night.”

“No, it’s fine. I know it made you feel special to wear them.” Steve smiled again, but it seemed cold, a little mean. A lot of Steve’s smiles had seemed like that lately. “Do whatever you want with them. They’re yours, I don’t want them back. SHIELD issued me new ones to replace those anyway.”

Tony fought back a flare of anger - that had been happening a lot lately too. But fighting over it wasn’t going to fix things. Unfortunately Tony had the feeling that whatever chance he’d had to fix this was gone before he even noticed they were broken. “Okay,” he said instead. “I guess this is it, then.”

Steve flashed him that strange, uncomfortable smile again. “Guess it is.” He held out a hand.

Tony didn’t want to touch him, didn’t want to remember an impersonal handclasp to be the final touch they share, but he also knew how damn lucky he was that Steve seemed to still want to be friends. He took Steve’s hand in his, gripped it. 

“It’s been good,” Steve said. “I mean, we both knew it wouldn’t last, but at least we had some fun, right?”

Tony closed his eyes. “You should go.”

If anything, his grip on Tony’s hand tightened. “I don’t think you really want me to.”

The sudden frisson of fear Tony feels was probably unwarranted - and entirely unprecedented. He’d never been afraid of Steve before, never felt anything less than entirely safe around him, even in their darkest and hardest moments. 

He was aware, all over again, how little he could do about it if Steve wanted to hurt him. It was usually a turn-on but today it just made Tony hyper aware of the fact that Steve was gripping the wrist that has the control band for the armor.

The elevator dinged.

Tony felt a little like a traitor for the rush of relief. Whatever weird tension was between him and Steve, Happy or Pepper’s presence would interrupt it.

And then the elevator door opened and Steve barreled out of it.

It was _Steve_ , but wearing grimy SHIELD blues, and sporting what looked like a month’s worth of facial hair. 

Tony drew in a sharp breath, but the other Steve spoke first. “Get the hell away from him!”

The grip on his wrist became painful. “I think you should make me.”

“What the hell-” Tony’s words cut off as Steve yanked on his arm, dragging Tony closer to him. “Remember when I said that it was time for you to leave?”

“Get your hands off him,” the other Steve said in a low voice. “Or I will rip them off.”

Steve - the Steve who had his wrist - practically growled. “I think you should come here and _take_ him.”

“Don’t mind if we do.”

Clint’s voice came from right behind him and Tony barely had time to register it before an arrow flashed past the side of his head and embedded itself in Steve’s throat.

His blood was green.

He was yelling, he knew that much, but then the other Steve was there, dragging him away from - Christ, was that a _Skrull_?

“Are you okay?” Steve’s hands were everywhere, patting down his chest and dragging over his shoulders and arms. “Give me your wrist, it’s already turning black and blue.”

“Steve? What the hell-” He couldn’t look at Steve as he carefully traced his fingers over Tony’s bruised wrist, checking for fractures with a worried intensity. So instead he looked over his shoulder, where another Steve, this one dripping green blood, was slumped against the wall while Clint and Natasha closed in on him from the far end of the hallway. 

“Did he hurt you?” Steve cupped Tony’s face in his. “Did he touch you?”

“Steve?”

Steve pulled him against his chest and clutched his hands into the back of Tony’s shirt. “I’m so sorry. I tried to get away faster.”

Tony could feel himself shaking. “Steve?”

Steve pressed a kiss against his temple, his beard scratchy against Tony’s skin. “Are you okay? I swear to you, I came as soon as I could.”

Tony’s heart was hammering in his chest. He slowly raised his arms to hold Steve back. He felt thinner, his ribs and spine noticeable under Tony’s hands. “How long was he pretending to be you?”

“Almost two months.” Steve sounded miserably, the words aching. 

“Two months.” Tony rolled the words around in his mouth. “He was… you’ve been gone for two months?”

“Tony.” Steve’s voice almost broke on his name.

“He didn’t - he didn’t hurt me. Not - he didn’t touch me. I don’t think.” Steve hadn’t touched him aside from a few dispassionate kisses in weeks. Months. Two months. “He - we’ve been fighting.”

Steve let out a heavy sigh. “Trying to keep you at a distance. He knew you’d realize what was going on if he let you get too close.” His arms held Tony tight against his chest. “I’ve been trying to get back to you. I promise you, I came as soon as I could.”

“Was he-” Tony pulled back a little so he could look at Steve’s face. “Was he the one who filed for a divorce?”

“ _What_?” Steve’s eyes were wide, and shocked. “No. Tony, that wasn't me. I would _never_ -”

“I should have known.” Looking back the change had been sudden, inexplicable, and completely unanticipated. “You - he just - withdrew. I didn’t know what was wrong and then he told me he was leaving. The papers -” Tony laughed, tired and breathless. “I’ve been stalling signing them. Hoping he’d change his mind.”

“Throw them away. Shred them. Burn them.” Steve pressed their foreheads together. “It wasn’t me. He was just trying to keep you off your feet.”

Tony turned his head to look at the Skrull, currently facedown on the ground as Natasha snapped cuffs on his - her? their? - wrists. It had dropped the image of Steve and was now a seven-foot tall alien with green skin. His life, honestly. “I should have known. You weren’t acting right. But he threw me. It happened so suddenly and he didn’t want to see me or talk to me so we couldn’t even talk it out.”

“It wasn’t me,” Steve said again. “Tony. When have I ever walked away without a fight?”

Tony closed his eyes and huffed a short laugh. “Yeah, the lack of screaming should have been my first warning sign.” He sighed, and pulled back a little. “Tasha? You guys have this under control?”

She flashed him a thumbs up and twirled a knife over the back of her hand. “We’re good. Clint’s calling for a containment team to come haul this guy in for questioning.”

“You need a meal or ten,” Tony said. “I don’t like how thin you are. Have you been to medical? We should take you to medical.”

“Later.” Steve bent his head to kiss him, gently, just a brush of his lips over Tony’s. “Later, okay? I’ve spent the last two months separated from you. I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

Tony felt the last of the tension and confusion ease out of him. “Okay,” he said softly. “Let’s go inside and get you cleaned up a little. We should talk anyway.”

“Yeah. About - the divorce. And what’s been going on for the last couple of months.” Steve’s eyes flickered toward the Skrull and his face hardened. “Swear to me he didn’t hurt you.”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed now that you’re back.” Tony touched his hand to Steve’s cheek, turned his gaze back to him. “Come on. I’ll get the kitchen to send up dinner while you clean up and then you can tell me everything.”

Steve nodded, and slumped against him a little. “Stay with me.”

Tony pressed a kiss against his forehead as he pulled Steve into their home. “Steve, babe, after this you’ll never get rid of me. The next time we fight I’m just going to accuse you of being a Skrull.”

Steve laughed. “Well, if the word “divorce” ever comes out of my mouth again, I give you permission to sic SHIELD on me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony reunite and take care of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am ridiculous. Sorry this took so long!

The door closed behind them with a soft click and Tony instinctively palmed the keypad beside it to lock down the penthouse. If the Avengers needed them, they had codes to get in, and if the impostor got loose there would at least be a locked door between him and Steve.

“Come on. Sit down for a minute.” Tony led him over to the couch and Steve sank down carefully onto the seat. “You look like five miles of bad road.”

Steve grinned, crooked and tired. “That bad?”

“You’re still beautiful,” Tony said. He leaned forward and used his thumb to wipe away a drop of blood from the corner of Steve’s eye. “Sit here for a minute. I’m going to get the kitchen to start something for you. Any preferences?”

“You,” Steve said, eyes skimming over Tony with a familiar look.

“Not until you’ve showered, eaten, been to medical and had a good night’s sleep.” Tony leaned in and kissed him again, just because he could. Steve’s lips were rough and chapped, but so fucking familiar.

It had been too long. God he’d missed kissing Steve so much.

“Cruel,” Steve said, but he leaned into the next kiss and the one after that. “I missed you every fucking day.”

Tony cupped the side of his face, pressed a final kiss against his mouth. “It wasn’t the same, I know, but I missed you too.”

Steve sighed into the kiss. “I’m sorry he did that to you, but-” He pulled back a little, dark blue eyes locked onto Tony’s face. “I’m glad it wasn’t worse. They told me- I was afraid for you.” He took Tony’s hand in his and interlocked their fingers. “Tell me again that he didn’t hurt you.”

“He barely touched me.” Tony combed the fingers of his free hand through Steve’s hair. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Flapjacks.” Steve leaned into his touch a little. “Saturday morning, late February. I kissed you awake and we made love. Thor made flapjacks for the whole team and we spent the afternoon playing basketball with Rhodey and Carol. And then SHIELD called me in for a mission.”

“And you came back a different person.” Tony remembered that day. “I was asleep when you - when he came back. I woke up when he came in and tried to ask him how the mission went but he... didn’t want to talk. He just climbed into bed and turned his back. I thought the mission must have gone badly so I gave him some room. When I woke up he was already gone and - we never really talked again after that. You - He always brushed me off - he was busy, he had a mission, he was meeting someone. I started to think you must have been mad at me for something, but I couldn’t figure out what. And then -” Tony’s mouth twisted into a tired smile. “Then he showed up a couple weeks later with divorce papers, telling me that it just wasn’t working.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you.” Steve shook his head. “But I’m so damned glad he didn’t touch you.”

The thought of the impostor’s hands on him made Tony’s skin crawl. He wasn’t sure he’d have been able to look Steve in the face if that had happened. “I don’t think he wanted to risk getting too close. Sam had been complaining that you kept blowing him off, too, and you weren’t training with Nat and Thor anymore. He. He wasn’t.”

“He distanced himself from anyone who might have realized.” Steve kissed him again. “The divorce would have helped him. Anyone who thought he was acting strangely would chalk it up to stress from the divorce.”

“Yeah. It was pretty stressful.”

Steve reached for him, fingers skimming over the chain that held the dog tags for a moment before hooking underneath it and lifting it away from Tony’s skin. He fumbled with the clasp for a second - his fingers were clumsy and shaking, god, Tony should have insisted he go to medical first - but he got the clasp undone and carefully pulled Tony’s wedding ring off the chain. He slid it onto his thumb and carefully redid the clasp, tucking the tags back under Tony’s shirt.

He held the ring in one hand and reached for Tony’s hand with the other. “Please,” he said, and his voice was shaking. “Please, can I-”

“Yes. Of course.” Tony gave Steve his hand, held still as Steve pushed the ring onto his finger and then cradled Tony’s hand between his. “Steve-”

“It wasn’t me.” He gripped Tony’s hand between his. “I can’t imagine what the last couple of months were like for you, but it wasn’t me and I can’t - I can’t lose you because of what he said.”

“Hey.” Tony laid his hand over both of Steve’s. “We’ve got some work ahead of us, I’m not pretending we don’t. And the last few months were hard on both of us. But I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave, got it? I never signed those divorce papers because I wasn’t ready to give up on us and now that I know you didn’t want it either - Steve, you’re gonna have to pick me up and carry me to the curb to get rid of me.”

Steve shook his head. “Never.” 

Tony pressed a kiss to the back of Steve’s hand. “Deal.”

“I love you,” Steve said. “Jesus, Tony.”

“Hey, language. What would your ma say?” Tony grinned and leaned over to brush Steve’s hair out of his face. “I love you, too. More than I’ll ever be able to tell you.” Steve turned his head to kiss Tony’s palm and they sat there for a long moment.

“Okay,” Tony said. “Come on. Let’s get you taken care of before you fall asleep flat on your face. What do you want to eat?”

“Anything. I could eat a horse.”

“All right, get up.” Tony helped haul Steve off the couch, noting that while he looked shaky, he was still steady on his feet. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“Clint and Nat gave me a couple of protein bars and an MRE on the plane, but before that - a couple days, maybe. The Skrulls thought I’d be easier to control if they kept me hungry.”

Anger boiled in Tony’s gut. “Remind me to introduce those assholes to a repulsor blast if our paths ever cross. Go grab a shower, I’ll order dinner.”

Steve took a couple of steps, then hesitated. “You won’t leave? You’re staying here?”

“I’m not going anywhere. As soon as I finish this I’ll come join you.” Tony waited until Steve nodded, then reached for the phone. It only took a minute to arrange for food to be sent up - the house chef took feeding Thor and Steve as a challenge, so she’d have it under control. Tony asked for something nourishing, but easy on the stomach and he could hear her shouting instructions across the kitchen before she’d even hung up.

He heard running water as he approached the bathroom. Steve’s voice echoed off the tile walls in a low groan as Tony pushed open the door.

Tony hadn’t heard that sound in months. Parts of his anatomy tried to sit up and take notice.

The shower took up about a third of the bathroom, a wide, tiled space with multiple showerheads and no door, open to the rest of the room. Steve stood in the center, naked, head hanging down against his chest, as the jets pounded against his spine and water cascaded down over the back of his head.

He already looked a little better, the blood and a lot of the general grime running off his skin and down the drain. But it was easier to see how much weight he’d lost without his uniform, and Tony swallowed another burst of anger at the Skrull who had starved him.

He kicked his shoes off into the corner farthest from the shower and stripped quickly. The water was almost unpleasantly hot on his skin as he walked into the shower, but he ignored it as he reached for a clean washcloth and a bottle of shower gel.

Steve didn’t move as Tony carefully ran the cloth over his shoulders and back. He smoothed a hand over Steve’s skin, washing away the soap and blood, shielding a couple of raw-looking patches of skin from the sting of soap. He could feel some of the tension easing out of Steve’s back with every touch, and Steve moaned softly as Tony carefully massaged the tight knot of muscle in his lower back.

He worked his way down, running the cloth over the taut muscles of Steve’s ass, down his thighs and calves, then moved around to Steve’s front. Steve lifted his head to smile at him, water dripping down his hair and into his eyes and Tony had to kiss him.

He skipped Steve’s face for now, started with a fresh dollop of body wash and carefully wiped down his throat and chest. Steve shifted for him, lifting his arms and lowering them with just a touch to prompt him, but otherwise stood largely passive and let Tony wash him. He didn’t take his eyes off Tony the entire time, and Tony felt the weight of his gaze like a solid thing. He kissed the skin over Steve’s heart, the soft skin of his belly, the tender flesh at the crease of thigh and groin. Steve’s cock stirred slightly at his touch, and Tony felt an answering heat in his belly, but he ignored both for now. 

“Foot,” Tony said and Steve lifted one foot, resting a hand on Tony’s shoulder for balance. His touch felt hot, and Tony held back a shiver as he worked the cloth over Steve’s feet one at a time, kneading the arches and balls of his feet, digging his thumbs into Steve’s heels just to hear him moan again.

“All right, sit.” Tony set Steve’s foot down and urged him to the ledge built into the back of the shower where there was a hose attachment. “Tip your head back for me.”

Tony worked shampoo through his hair - it was so dirty it barely worked up a lather, and he rinsed it out and rewashed it two more times before working conditioner through. Steve leaned back into his chest and sighed, turned his head to kiss Tony’s throat. “Feels good.”

Tony dropped a kiss onto his forehead. “Keep your eyes closed.” He worked a little facewash between his hands, then carefully ran his fingers over Steve’s face, starting with his brow and then his nose and cheeks, keeping his touch light and moving in soft circles. He lathered up the beard a little, but it was tangled and matted in places and would have to be cut - Steve’s captors clearly hadn’t been overly concerned with his personal comfort. “I’m going to get your face wet now.”

Steve hummed a little, and kept his eyes closed. Tony covered the hose with his palm, letting the water fall on Steve’s face gently. He ran his fingers over Steve’s skin to make sure the soap had been rinsed away, then started on the conditioner.

Tony traced a finger over the line of Steve’s jaw. “All clean.”

“Thank you.” Steve stood slowly, stretching his back and shoulders before holding out a hand to help Tony up off the bench. 

Tony took it, enjoying the sight of water running over Steve’s skin. “Better?”

Steve pulled him in close until they were pressed together, hip to chest. “Much better,” he said. 

He was half hard already, his cock a hard line of heat pressing against Tony’s groin. Tony’s skin felt hot everywhere Steve touched him, like a sunburn. Arousal uncurled in his belly, a slow rush of pleasure that flared hotter as Steve began to rock his hips into Tony’s.

Part of Tony thought this was a very bad idea. Steve was half-starved, injured, exhausted and emotional - and Tony wasn’t feeling much better after the last few weeks. But the rest of him was hungry, aching for this final proof that Steve was back with him, that Steve still wanted him. He slid his arms over Steve’s shoulders, ran his hands through Steve’s hair, and dragged him into a kiss.

Steve pressed one palm flat between Tony’s shoulder blades, slid the other down to cup Tony’s ass, and dragged him closer with every roll of his hips. 

It was messy and a little awkward and over far too soon. Steve’s body was shaking with exhaustion but his hands were steady and tight where they gripped Tony. His breath came hard and fast in between deep, bruising kisses. He held Tony close as he came, body shaking and breath shuddering against Tony’s mouth as he spilled between them.

“God,” Tony said. Steve kissed him again, hard, possessive, and gripped Tony’s hips with both hands. He tugged, encouraging him to move again, and Tony moaned as he rocked against Steve, sliding against Steve’s softening cock, rocking into him in increasingly desperate thrusts until he came and all but collapsed against Steve’s chest.

Steve held him up. “I missed you so much,” Steve said. He kissed Tony’s mouth again, bit his bottom lip. “I would think about you while I was in that cell. Imagine what it would feel like to hold you again, to kiss you. I would dream about you and in my dreams I was home with you and safe. I would have done anything to have you in my arms again, Tony, I never would have given up.”

“I would have found you,” Tony said. He pressed his face against Steve’s throat and just breathed in the scent of soap and sweat and semen. “He couldn’t have fooled me forever. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner, but the second I realized what was going on, nothing would have stopped me from coming after you.”

Steve smiled. “I know. That thought kept me going.”

Tony kissed his chin. “You just undid all my hard work. Stand still, I have to get us both clean again.”

“Or we could get even dirtier?” Steve arched one eyebrow at him.

Tony put on his stern face and tried to pretend his knees hadn’t suddenly gone completely weak. “After dinner. And after medical checks you out, don’t think I’ve forgotten about that.”

Steve made a face, but held still while Tony cleaned him off a second time. “Shave now or after dinner?” Tony asked and Steve hesitated visibly, obviously torn. “All right, the food’s not here yet so go sit down.”

Steve settled onto the bench again, back against the wall and leaned back. Tony turned off the jets, then ducked out of the shower to grab his razor and shaving cream. Steve’s were gone, taken when he’d moved out without announcement the day before he’d served Tony with divorce papers.

Not Steve. The impostor. It only made it hurt a little less, but Tony could work with that. It hadn’t been Steve.

“Hold still.” Tony used the clippers first, cutting away the worst of the matted mess and letting it fall to the shower floor. He got it as short as he could before he switched to the razor. He smoothed the shaving cream over Steve’s face and carefully pulled the razor over his cheeks and the curve of his chin, the soft skin under his jaw. Steve didn’t move or flinch, but he kept his eyes open, watching Tony through the entire process. 

Tony smoothed his fingers over Steve’s throat, feeling for any stubble he may have missed, and let his fingers rest for a moment over Steve’s pulse, counting beats in his head.

Steve’s stomach growling spurred him back to movement and he put the razor aside. He rinsed Steve off with the hose yet again, then used a clean washcloth and some hot water to get the last of the shaving cream off Steve’s face. “There you go. Hey, I can see your face again.” He brushed his thumb over Steve’s cheekbones, more prominent than they usually were. “Come on, your food should be here by now.”

He patted Steve dry with a towel, then bundled him into one of Tony’s softest dressing gowns. “We’ll have to get the rest of your stuff back - I don’t actually know where he went when he left, so we may have to do some digging there -”

“I can buy new clothes,” Steve said. “They only things they took from me that were irreplaceable are you and my freedom, and I have them both back. Nothing else really matters to me right now.” He frowned for a minute, then added, “And my wedding ring. I want that back.”

“Your-” Tony’s eyes dart to Steve’s hand and he feels terrible for only just then realizing it was bare. “What did they-”

“They gave it to him. The impostor.” Steve spat the word out. “I didn’t think of it while we were out there - I just wanted you as far away from him as possible.”

“He wasn’t wearing it. He had taken it off by the time he brought me the papers to sign. It’s probably with the rest of your things. We’ll go figure out what he did with it all tomorrow, okay?”

“I want that ring back,” Steve said.

“We can get you a new one, if we have to.”

“You gave it to me. I know it’s just jewelry, but it’s - it means a lot to me.”

Tony nodded. “Then we’ll get it back. I doubt he took the trouble of selling it so it’s probably wherever he was living the last few weeks. We’ll find it.”

The reassurance seemed to be all Steve needed. “I didn’t give it up without a fight.” He grinned, and it was the wild, wicked grin Tony had seen on him before when he’d done something dangerous. “When I realized what they wanted it for I made them work for it. It took six of them to take it off me and they took a lot more damage in the fight than I did.”

“I’d rather you hadn’t taken any damage at all,” Tony said as he slipped into a robe. “But if it had been me in your place I think I would have done the same.” He tried to imagine being held in a cell for two months, knowing that someone with his face was pretending to be Steve’s husband, sleeping beside him, fighting beside him, seeing him vulnerable and undefended, and thought he’d have gone crazy.

Steve was definitely starting to drag as they made their way back to the living room, leaning into Tony’s side and letting him hold up some of Steve’s weight in a way he normally wouldn’t have. Jarvis was there, setting up several plates of food, and he offered Steve a fond smile. “Captain. I must say I am intensely pleased to see you back safe and sound.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.” Steve lowered himself down to sit with a tired groan. “It’s been a hell of a couple months, hasn’t it?”

“Indeed. I must say, I find the alien shapeshifter a far more plausible cause for the events of the last several weeks than any other explanation offered.” Jarvis waited until Steve was settled, then handed him a cloth napkin and a glass of water. “Would you like me to stay and serve the meal?”

Tony shook his head. “I’ve got this, Jarvis. Steve’s gonna be out on his feet in a minute anyway, so I’m just gonna make sure he doesn’t drown in his soup.”

Jarvis gripped his shoulder tightly for a moment. “Very well, then. Captain, Sir, please call at once if you need anything. Captain, I hope you recover quickly. I shall lock the door behind me so you can have your privacy.”

Dinner was a huge bowl of chicken stew, several slices of thick brown bread slathered with butter and honey, and a plate piled high with roasted potatoes, carrots and green beans. Steve demolished the food so fast Tony barely had the chance to blink, then flopped back against the couch with a heavy sigh. “That was exactly what I needed. Thank you.”

“Thank the kitchen, they did the hard part.” Tony took the empty plate out of Steve’s hands and set it aside. “Come on. You need to rest.” He took Steve’s arm and let Steve lean on him as they made their way into the bedroom.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed while Tony pulled shades and drew curtains, making the room as dark as possible in the middle of the day. “Do you want something to wear?” Tony asked. “I - I think I have something that will fit you. Or I can go find something of yours out in the boxes real quick. Give me a second and I’ll-”

“Don’t leave,” Steve said. “Can you stay? I know you must have work…”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Tony tugged the robe off Steve’s shoulders and pulled back the covers so he could lie down. “I’m staying right here. A nap would do me some good, I was up most of the night.”

He shrugged off his own robe and let it sit on the floor by the side of the bed, then climbed in next to Steve. Steve rolled onto his side and lifted one arm in an invitation Tony happily accepted, laying against him, one arm over Steve’s chest, Steve’s arm around his shoulders. “Go to sleep. I’ll stay.” His breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t stop himself from adding, “Promise you’ll still be here when I wake up.”

Steve brushed a kiss against his forehead and his arm tightened around Tony’s shoulders. “I’m never leaving you without a fight. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musicalluna wrote [her own version of Steve and Tony's reunion on her Tumblr.](http://musicalluna.tumblr.com/post/173471650215/onemuseleft-let-me-write-a-fanfic-of-her-divorce)


End file.
